Guest Post : How I accidentally breastfed for 3 years

I have been desperate to have children from the moment I physically could. I was lucky enough to meet my to be husband at 17 so after we married when I was 23 I felt like I'd been waiting forever.


I became pregnant when I was 24 and we were both extremely anxious but both very excited. Sadly this baby was not to be and at 10 weeks I had a miscarriage. We were both devastated. After talking it through we both said we wanted to try again. The next month I was pregnant again. At the time pregnancies were only scanned at 20 weeks. We had decided not to tell anyone about the pregnancy so it was very easy to stay detached and not really believe it was happening.


Fast forward to the hospital delivery room. I was asking what pain relief was available when the midwife explained there was no time for that I would be a mother within an hour. It suddenly hit me that it really was going to happen this time. I was going to get the baby it seemed I had been waiting my whole life for.

We had been to the antenatal classes where the breastfeeding talk lasted all of ten minutes. The midwife briefly explained that breast feeding was best for the baby and we all nodded and assumed that was all there was to it.


When my beautiful daughter was born I dutifully put her to my breast to feed her and all seemed well. Eventually it was time for my husband to leave me at the hospital and I suddenly seemed totally responsible for this amazing new being. A couple of hours after that she seemed to have done nothing but feed or scream. A passing midwife told me to feed my crying baby, I said to her that I had fed her non stop since she had been born. The midwifes response was, yes they feed non stop. Gahhhh!


The next day I came home. The midwife visited me at home where I dutifully nodded that beastfeeding was going great and all was well. The midwife told me I was a natural. What I was desperate to tell her but too ashamed was that one of my nipples was bleeding, I was sore and my baby didn't stop screaming or feeding.


The midwife came again the next day. Again I said all was well, when it very much wasn't. Within an hour of her leaving thinking we were doing fine I was a blubbering wreck on the phone to her saying I needed her help. She arrived within minutes, she seemed like an angel. First of all she asked what on earth I was doing hiding upstairs to feed, no wonder I was feeling alone. She then showed me how to position cushions and how to hold my daughter like a rugby ball. Most of all though, she listened to the ramblings of a hormonal terrified new mum.


The next few weeks were hard. I had been discharged by the midwife and felt like I had no support. There was no point asking my mum or mother in law, they were of the formula feeding generation and would have just told me to give up. I had no friends with babies. Although I was beyond being a teenage mum, most of my friends had only just left university none of them had babies. I was extremely uncomfortable feeding in front of anyone except my husband. I would plan leaving the house so I wouldn't have to. I literally never did it in public.

After about 6 weeks I finally felt I knew what I was doing and had both my daughter and feeding in a routine.

It seemed no time at all before people were asking me about weaning, it was something I hadn't considered, certainly not in regards to breast feeding. When the time came I just carried on feeding and assumed I would know when my daughter and I were ready to stop. I was right, by 16 months I felt ready to move on and was even beginning to think about a second baby.

Lucky for us there was no problem transitioning and I felt confident that I had picked the right time.
Soon I did become pregnant again, this time was so different to the first. Yes, breastfeeding was uncomfortable to start with, however I knew it wouldn't last. More importantly I couldn't fall to pieces this time, I had a 3 year old to look after as well as a baby. I was so pleased when one day I saw my daughter copying me and breastfeeding her doll. No hiding away to feed this time, it just wasn't possible with a 3 year old in tow. I bought some breastfeeding tops that covered up my wobbly bits, this really helped my confidence. It really was a shock to me how little people stared, I felt completely different this time.


My daughter caught swine flu when baby number 2 was 6 months. She was incredibly ill and it was a very scary time. There was nothing I could do to protect my baby from catching it and it seemed inevitable. However, he never did. I hope it was my breastmilk that protected him. If it was I thank mother nature for enabling me to protect him.

Again this breast feeding journey lasted a year.


Three years on and baby number 3 arrived. Its hard to believe how different I have felt about feeding each baby. I felt completely confident about breast feeding number 3. I made sure I was ready with feeding tops. However, even with baby number 3 I still had questions and queries.

In Overton where I live we are so lucky. We have two wonderful breast feeding counsellors. They are so knowledgeable and supportive answering questions and listening. I wish so much they had been around for my first.


I am now really lucky, I have a wonderful group of mummy mates that share the ups and downs of babies and life. I feel so glad that I didn't stop feeding in those early days with baby number 1, it seemed like the easy and obvious solution. However, by baby number 3 I've realised breastfeeding is far easier. No going downstairs in the cold at night to make bottles, I always have safe sterile milk with me. My baby is protected against so many illnesses. I am also benefiting from a lower risk of breast and cervical cancer.


When talking to friends who are expecting for the first time I find there is still little information for parents regarding breastfeeding. They all seem to know its the best thing for their baby and assume it will be straight forward. I try to share how difficult it can be but how rewarding and beautiful it can be once you have the hang of it. I think a support network in place before your baby is born is essential. Having someone you can call when things get tough that will listen and advise is invaluable.

Breastfeeding isn't for everyone and I totally support a woman's choice. A baby needs a happy mum more than it needs breast milk. However, if a woman can be supported in the right way, breast feeding is a wonderful part of motherhood.

Jill Cann

In search of the best breastfeeding advice...

I read this article today. And it made me really sad to think that mothers still think that they've been failed by breastfeeding support and that all we do is to pressure them into keeping at it. That's really not what we're setting out to do, and as 'we' I mean breastfeeding counsellors and peer supporters.

Yet, to take the same example as the one in the article, if a mother comes to see me with mastitis or a supply issue, would I tell her to feed more? Well to be honest yes!

Let's talk about mastitis. It's an inflammation of breast tissues caused by milk stasis (milk not being removed from the breast) or a blocked duct. And the most effective way to resolve mastitis is indeed to feed more and get the baby to remove the milk/unblock the plug that's causing problem. I know, I've had it! Because that's the thing, breastfeeding counsellors are firstly breastfeeding mothers who have had similar experiences to the mothers they support and know first hand how hard it can be. Their 'agenda' is not to please the public health's politics of the moment but to genuinely provide the best support they can to other breastfeeding mothers.

Milk supply issues? Breastfeeding works as a balance between supply and demand. Basically the more a baby feeds, the more milk the mother's body will make. So yes again, feeding is the best way to increase supply.

And I do talk about formula to the mothers who come to my antenatal breastfeeding sessions. And if they ask, as they often do "When is it that enough is enough and it's best to stop?" I do say that the most important thing for a baby is to have a happy mother and that if breastfeeding makes them unhappy it's time to stop. I do!

But if I agree that the mother's happiness is key I can't help feeling anger and frustration at reading this : "Furthermore, breastfeeding activists (or lactivists) shouldn't have to borrow risk factors from the developing world to make mothers in Eastleigh feel breast milk is the only safe foodstuff for their children."
Journalists should present correct information and I don't consider it correct information to say that we borrow risk factors from the developing world. It's also in our wealthy country that children are unnecessarily hospitalised for infections that breastfeeding prevents when formula doesn't.
Gastro enteritis for example. Not only does breastfeeding alone - not formula - provide protection against such infections but formula can be detrimental, not promote a healthy growth of babies' immature gut.
For mums too, breastfeeding is important. Breast and cervical cancers are on the rise and lots of studies show how breastfeeding dramatically reduces the risks for mothers to contract them.

In an ironic sort of way I also read today this post from The Alpha Parent.  I recommend to read this to see just how much breastfeeding is not just a bout the developing world risk factor.

And this is always at the back of our mind, as breastfeeding supporters. And it would be nice, for once, if the media tried to see things how we see them, and what our daily struggle is to have to juggle mothers' emotional well-being and not putting pressure on anyone with what we know about what formula does to babies and mothers' health, instead of always getting us pilloried for what we do!

Anne, BFC

Support today for tomorrow's mums!

I was facilitating an antenatal breastfeeding session this morning. I had a group of six mums-t- be, all interested and keen to ask questions, just as I like a group to be!

One of them said that her mother couldn't breastfeed her and we went onto discussing how the previous generation lacked in support and how formula use was strongly advised. I said something about formula in the 70's them remembered just in time that all these mums were probably younger than me by at least a decade! And added 'and the 80's' !!

Later when I was going back home I was reflecting about this in the car. The longer I'll be a breastfeeding counsellor and the later these mums will have been born! There will come a time when they won't be daughters of a 'formula generation'. What sort of view on breastfeeding will these mothers of tomorrow have received from their own mothers?!

I hope that one day we will see some effect of the growing support that's available at the moment, that the support will keep growing. We might not be changing the rates of breastfeeding 'success' as much as we'd like but maybe we're changing the views of mothers who will give birth in 15, 20 years from here?!
Birthing practices are changing too.
Groups like the Hampshire Maternity Services Liaison Committee (MSLC) work to include views of parents into maternity care.
More and more hospitals are putting their efforts into being Baby Friendly Initiative accredited.
Parents are aware of the importance of skin-to-skin contact between mother and baby - or, if not possible, father and baby -  straight after birth, and of the initation of breastfeeding in baby's first hours of life.

But, thinking about these mothers, there is something that worries me. It's the whole formula-feeding/breastfeeding division that we see. You just have to read forums about baby care or comments on feeding related articles in the media and you see only too well that division. Behind it, deep, often painful feelings...
Women talk about feeling pressured, inadequate, failing.
The balance of sharing our passion for breastfeeding without imposing our views to vulnerable new mothers is fragile.
We'd like every baby to be breastfed but also every mother to fall in love with her baby and know that she is the best mother her baby could have, whatever she does. It's not easy, I can tell you!

To come back to these painful feelings that exist between formula-feeding and breastfeeding mothers... It's for all of us, mums out there, to try and understand that different mothers have different choices and that all choices are valid. And to be kind. And to remember that negative attitude often hides hurt.

To remember that we are moving away from the mothers born from the 'formula' generation and that we are at this time setting down the foundations of a different way of thinking in terms of feeding babies. Let's make it a good one!

Anne