Breastfeeding in public - by Hema

I’m a small chested girl trapped in the body of a big chested girl.  I’ve never been  comfortable with having whoppers so I knew the whole pregnancy and breastfeeding thing was going to be tough on me.  Apart from trying to find clothes that fitted my  top half, breastfeeding in public became the ultimate challenge.  The Mama scarf I  had bought pre-birth proved to be too small and such a fiddle that it drew more  attention to myself as baby squirmed and wriggled.  I would break out in a sweat trying to keep my eye on everyone else's gaze while making sure I didn’t reveal myself.

I was not a cool breastfeeding Mum and paranoid thoughts fuelled by the  comments of the few dominated these moments. It’s hard, very hard to conceal such generous proportions but when baby is wailing on  a hot summers’ day, I was forced to sit somewhere and pull myself together.  I tried to read people's faces,  see if they knew and were judging me.  I tried to be casual  and pleasant in the hope that either nobody would notice or that they would be nice about it.   In  the end I  wasn’t over-exposing myself and as I had picked National Trust gardens,  I may have benefited from the relaxing atmosphere.  After a while, I became quite good at finding solitary corners and adopting a subtle manner.

Of course, if I stopped breastfeeding, they would return to their normal size (yes,  still going on about that) which would have made me feel better.  However, something unexpected had taken place.  This tiny little being had done away with  some -although not all- of my vanity.  Or maybe it was because I had fought tooth and nail to make breastfeeding work that I needed it to go beyond my planned six months.  In fact, I continued until my daughter was around seventeen months old for many  reasons; some good, some silly, some just plain egotistical.  However, from difficult  beginnings, breastfeeding had transformed into something rather beautiful.

It had taken six to nine months to recover from the shock of motherhood so I had only just  begun to really appreciate my baby as I had imagined I would and giving up  breastfeeding at its highest point suddenly seemed like saying no to Daniel Craig, it's  nuts.

Hema Simkins

Guest Post : Dedicated support groups, here for you when everything seems impossible !

We are very lucky again, this week, to be hosting a fantastic guest post. Lisette and Geraldine are Specialist Midwives in Infant Feeding and you can follow their tweets @FeedingTogether. For more information about their work and on how to feed your baby you can also visit this website.
Today Lisette is sharing with us some of her reflections about motherhood, doubts and reluctance to get support that come with it! Her message is simple : there is a wealth of support out there, seize the opportunity!



"For all new mum’s, regardless of how they have chosen to feed their babies, there are moments when they doubt that they will ever get to grips with what their baby needs. Well, as sure as “eggs is eggs” this fear will be very short-lived if you take advantage of the wealth of support that is available to you as a new mummy.

New mummies have an amazing amount to deal with following the arrival of a new baby and learning to juggle everything that this new role throws at you can be sole destroying at times. This is, in most parts, because we are women and we seem to have this inbuilt and insane idea that we have to be perfect at all tasks and couldn’t possibly delegate anything to anybody else, because……………. Well just because!!!!!

Support is the number one key ingredient in this brand new relationship – afterall, in the past when things have been tricky in other situations, new jobs or perhaps a new relationship, we are incredibly good at seeking approval and advice (support) from those closest to us (friends & family). So why is it when we are pregnant or have a new baby that we seem to think that we have to struggle through and just “find a way”?!

Babies are everyone’s business and by that I mean that your support with breastfeeding or formula feeding shouldn’t just come from one place – midwives and health care assistants; health visitors and GP’s; friends and family will all have a part to play in giving you the support that you will need but there is an even more special place that you can go that will offer everything you need in one place.

Dedicated support groups, operate in your area and are there to offer support to you on those days when everything seems impossible. If you are having early problems (or late) with breastfeeding, you will find a dedicated team of women, who have all breastfed themselves, on hand to help you and offer you the support and information that you need to continue on your breastfeeding journey. Don’t just sit at home and worry about something, being able to share something in a group setting, with women who have or still are breastfeeding is an amazingly powerful experience. These groups are an ideal opportunity to practice things that you are not yet comfortable with, such as “breastfeeding in public” - its a very empowering moment when you finally feel confident to move from the group setting to coffee shops and restaurants or even park benches!!

 So why not pop along to a support group near you and take the opportunity to meet with and pick the brains of a number of other women – in a similar situation to yourself."