Breastfeeding dads !

Recently I came across this lovely picture on Pinterest :

Except for the fact that the baby is facing the wrong way (just a small matter !) it struck me as quite a good example of the breastfeeding position called side-lying.

It got me thinking about what makes a breastfeeding relationship what it is, how the bond is tied, and how dads can find their place in this relationship.

I think we often forget that breastfeeding is not only about feeding. Let's reflect on what a breastfeeding mum does when she 'feeds' her baby :
- she holds her baby
- she sits with her baby
- she sleeps with her baby (sometimes, if it's her choice, like the dad in the picture)
- she gives comfort to her baby
- she gives milk to her baby
Breastfeeding mums talk about the time they spend sitting down, feeding, and by feeding they encompass all of the above. So, once the baby is fed, why couldn't dads do the same ? Yes it is sometimes difficult to put a baby down after they've fallen asleep while feeding. Yes they sometimes keep sucking for comfort. But there is a difference between being put down in a cot or moses basket and being cuddled in dad's arms!
Many breastfeeding mums might find that, maybe with a bit of rocking and singing when they change arms, their baby will be perfectly happy to finish their sleep with dad. And isn't it the precious bond and relationship dads are really after when they express the wish to feed the baby ?!

I found other pictures of contented babies in dads' arms, that are strongly reminiscent of breastfeeding positions :

Cradle hold (almost perfect, baby would just need to be turned in a bit more)

Laid back (just look how peaceful they both are!)

Rugby hold (not quite but close enough!)

Naomi Stadlen wrote a beautiful book called What Mothers Do, Especially When it Looks like Nothing. Maybe that's all  fathers need to do to experience the same sort of bond as mothers have with their baby. Doing nothing else than being with their baby, feeling like they're doing nothing when they're actually doing everything ;)

Anne x

Breastfeeding Meme

How do you pass the time when your little one is feeding?

I always have my phone with me (except if DB has pinched it from me, which can happen!). It's a fantastic asset for a breastfeeding mum :) I go on Facebook, read and write emails, write a blog post, read a book on the Kindle app, browse on Etsy or eBay, go on Pinterest or Twitter. I can say that smart phones have radically changed my breastfeeding experience since I had DD1 almost 11 years ago (yikes!!).


Cover up or bare it all?

I don't cover up but try not to flash everyone around either! More than once it happened that people didn't realise I was breastfeeding until someone talked to me and suddenly realised. But it also happened, with a particular mock wrap top, that I saw with a shock, after DB had come off and I had pulled my top down, that my boob was popping out in between the layers!!!


Choosing breastfeeding : Sense or Sensibility?

Definitely sensibility first. Although I appreciate all the health benefits, especially when I have been nursing a poorly child, it's for the closeness that I wanted to breastfeed. The love rush. The growing infant curling up in your arms like a newborn, all warm and safe and content.


If your breastfeeding experience was a film, what genre would it be?

A love story or maybe one of these Coming of Age films. It's not quite an experience that turns you into a different person but certainly in a person with different views.


What are the down sides?

Blocked ducts can set me off in quite a bad mood for a couple of days. Especially with older children who seem to choose that time to bump into me or give me a hug a bit roughly (any sort of hug is generally nice but not with tender boobs!).
Little fingers that pinch soft skin between the nails... Ouch!
Biting is not nice either, although one time it was my own fault. I had given a cracker to DB and let her come on the boob while eating. She got a bit confused!!
Little feet that go in my plate when I'm breastfeeding while having my meal, or that knock my phone off my hand!


Nose-to-nipple or laid-back?

With DB I definitely found that laid-back breastfeeding helped her to latch on, otherwise I had all the head shaking and pushing away from me which can be so frustrating. As soon as she was on my chest, on her tummy, she used her reflexes (rooting and crawling) to good results! After she'd latched on I would often go into a cross between cradle hold and laid-back breastfeeding.
With DD1 I tried once feeding on all four as I had read it helped with blocked ducts... Not convinced! Since then I've discovered hot compresses and to align baby's chin with the blockage and it works better for me. At least it's more dignified!


What would you like to say to new mums about breastfeeding?

When it comes to breastfeeding what counts is the relationship between you and your baby, it is UNIQUE to the two of you. There are no absolute set rules, whatever works for you is what is right, whether it's exclusive breastfeeding, mixed feeding, expressing, feeding only from one boob! The aim is to make it work FOR YOU, in the way it's right for you :)

Anne x

It wouldn't really be a Meme without inviting other bloggers to write similar posts. So I'm going to invite Becky at ThisIsMe
paa.la
Rachel at Beautiful.Enduring.Delight
Tessa at The Pumping Mama
and Kylie at Not Even a Bag of Sugar
To continue this breastfeeding Meme, guys, include the pic below, write a post answering the questions (if you want to) and invite 5 more bloggers to do the Meme!